I have been searching God since I was still a child. My
mother was a believer but in her own search. Somehow I always had a
relationship with God. I used to talk to Him, even without knowing Who He was.
At the age of 21 when I was pregnant of my first child, I
knew more about Jesus, the Word of God made flesh, and I started to study more
the Bible and meditate in God's Word.
However, while still living in Mozambique, Africa, about 7
years later, when the country became independent (it was a former Portuguese
Colony), the believers of my church run away to South Africa afraid of
everything. I was going through my divorce, so I was so disappointed with
everyone and God and feeling so abandoned that I decided to leave my daily walk
with God for five long years...
In spite of my decision, I always felt that God was waiting
for me exactly where I left Him. The civil war became a fact and I had to leave
Mozambique to Portugal with my daughters.
Already in Portugal, I decided to turn back to God and I was
baptized with my eldest daughter when she was already 14 years old. I dedicated
to the Lord my youngest one too. That was a wonderful moment in my life
when I felt God embracing me with His immense love, forgiveness and joy for my
turning back to Him.
Although walking with God and feeling His presence in my
life at all times, I made many wrong decisions. Because I felt I was an
unwanted child, I grew up without love. So, it was very difficult for me to
understand God’s love for me like if I was not worth of it, not deserving it.
But deep inside my heart I always felt His deep and everlasting love for me no
matter what I was thinking about myself. The clear and clear perception of His
unconditional love, was healing me and still is working in my heart every day.
I need Him more and more every single day of my life.
I feel very grateful for His companionship along my life
journey. I do believe that if He was not so present in my life, even when I was
not aware of it, I surely had ended my life in those walks through the valleys
of shade and death of my life. I can see now that at all times He was there
holding my hand and leading me to green pastures and fresh waters when
everything looked so much like a desert in my life.
Now, I enjoy His company in every single moment of my day.
When I awake up every morning my heart rejoices of gratitude and I love to
surrender my life to Him so that I can walk with Him along the
day, humbly feeling that through His love in my heart and my total
submission to His will, I can be His humble servant and a channel of His love
comforting, loving, caring for, smiling, and giving hope to my neighbors with a
broken heart. All honor and praise be given to God!
For me it is no more about a religion but a way of living. It
is all about submission to a love relationship with my Creator. The presence of
His Spirit within me is reshaping my mind, my soul, my heart every moment of my
life in an endless time, so that I can bear the Fruit of the Spirit “But
the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance,
kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and
self-control. Against such things there is no law.” (Injil, Apostle Paul
letter to the Galatians (5:22-23).
What a delight is to live in God’s hands!
